All I ever wanted was for you to be mine
by there'snoexcuseforme
Summary: Hippolyta writes a letter to her daughter that she knows she may never read.


_To my daughter, Diana._

 _I know you may never read these words that I write, but there are so many things I want to say to you. I know by now you have realised the truth of your existence and I can only hope you will forgive me for the lies I told you, but please be assured Diana that I did it out of love._

 _Love and perhaps my own selfishness, because I never wanted you to belong to the world, all I ever wanted was for you to be mine._

 _Your creation was one of the hardest things I have ever endured Diana, the Gods wanted a weapon, but all I wanted was a child. I tried so hard not to love you when you were growing inside me, I know it's a terrible thing to say but I couldn't bear to love something that was made to be a weapon for I knew it would make it so much harder to lose you one day. Please know that I failed at that task Diana because I loved you even before you born, from the moment I felt your first kick from inside me I loved you so much_

 _Antiope was with me when you were born, our beloved Antiope, she helped me through the agony of birthing you and she placed you in my arms when you came screaming into the world, making your presence known to all of Themyscira. You were so beautiful Diana, you had the most gorgeous brown eyes that gazed up at me and when I looked at you for the first time I felt the deepest love I have ever felt. You were mine Diana. At that moment you weren't a weapon, you didn't belong to the Gods, you belonged to me, you were my child._  
 _I believe you needed me as much as I needed you back then, when you were hungry it was I who fed you, I can still feel your warm mouth suckling the milk from my breast, making you grow strong. I changed you and bathed you Diana, when you cried it was I who comforted you, and at night I rocked you gently and watched over you as slept so peacefully._

 _I can still feel your head resting against my chest; I can still feel your hair slipping through my fingers as I braided it for you. I can still feel your hand in mine as you walked alongside me and I can still hear you crying for me when you were hurt. I long to hold you just as I did back then, to comfort you and keep you safe in my arms again. It never mattered how big you became or how strong, if you were hurt I always saw you as that tiny baby that would only stop crying if I held you._

 _You were always my greatest love Diana and I was proud of you every day of your life. Even those days when you disobeyed me and I found you running away from your lessons to watch the women train. I knew I could never stop you from becoming a warrior though I wished so hard that you would find a different passion in life. From the moment you first picked up a fallen branch and pretended it was a sword I knew the day would come when you would begin training. I prayed that it would be too hard for you and that you would give up, but every day you only became a better and stronger fighter. It saddened me but at the same time your strength astounded me, you were so much more powerful than I ever dreamed you would be._

 _I still think of you every day, I wonder where you are, I wonder if you're loved and if your life is a happy one, I don't need to wonder if you're safe because you're my daughter and I would know it in my very soul if anything were to happen to you. It doesn't stop me from worrying for you though; a mother can't help but worry for her child._

 _Diana my beautiful, strong, brave girl, it's been so long since you left me but I still feel the pain of losing you as strongly as ever, I try not to think of that terrible day that stole so much from me, I lost my sister and my daughter all at once and the pain has been so hard to bare. Sometimes the hurt is so much that I feel unable to breathe; the one thing that gets me through is the belief that one day I will see you again. I believe that with all my heart, but until then I can only write this letter that you might never read._

 _You were my greatest love my child; you were and still are the most precious thing in the world to me. I pray to the Gods that the day we are reunited will come soon._

 _Until then Diana, my love, always._

 ** _Mother_**


End file.
